静かな (Quiet)
by hyugaki
Summary: After getting murdered by a drug addict, Chanel never thought she'd be reborn in the Naruto universe. Now she was being called Mame Shizuka, being discriminated against because of her lineage, and being forced to fend for herself in the cruel, bitter life of a shinobi, while trying to avoid getting murdered again. This was NOT what she meant when she said she wanted a new life.
1. Reborn

**;edited; _thank you Otaku-neku for letting me know that I repeated the same lines after. You helped me lots! _**

**Disclaimer:** _This story explores racism, sexism, and homophobia; if you are uncomfortable with either of these things, please refrain from reading this story. This story also contains spoilers, so if you are not caught up with at least the anime, please refrain from reading this. This is the last time this disclaimer will pop up in the story. _

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><p><strong>静かな (Quiet)<strong>

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><p><em><span><strong>Chapter One: Reborn<strong>_

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><p>On the third of December , Chanel Estowfilm died.<p>

On the third of December, Mame Shizuka was born.

I died an ironic death. It was so odd, unremarkable, it was almost laughable. Of course, at the time I was screaming at the top of my lungs and crying, pleading and trying to hastily explain myself.

For you to understand, I'd first have to explain my life.

I, Chanel Estowfilm, was born in the tropical Florida and raised in Detroit, Michigan. I had a hard time there, particularly because of my absent father and my mother who was irritable. My father was arrested for fraud; my mom used to reminisce about "the good days" where she wore Prada, Gucci, and Jimmy Choos. Now she wore old outfits and my shoes, and I'd bust my ass to afford the apartment bill.

We lived in a cramed apartment complex that we shared with racist white people, stoners, crackheads, and drug dealers. I was a book worm, an odd thumb sticking out easily. Despite my school being predominantly black and Hispanic, I was the top student in the lowest school. I dove into books. My favorite was Harry Potter, of course. I also delved into Anime, remembering that Naruto was a small bit of my childhood I remembered. My dad and I would throw our shopping bags down, sit on the couch and curl together watched the number-one knucklehead ninja's escapades.

Now, I desperately clung to the last memory I had of my dad before him being thrown into prison.

I was called intelligent, a prodigy. Sucks that I had to be shot, killed, and left to die. I guess I wasn't smart enough to realize a crackhead when I saw one; said crackhead mistook me for his estranged wife who stole his drugs, eloped with a stoner, and left.

Which is weird, considering said wife was white and I wasn't.

With a pistol in hand, the man glared at me, lips curling. He was eerily pale, like he could camouflage in the snow. His thin fingers curled around the trigger, trembling slightly.

"S-Susan," He spluttered, his skin reddening as he abruptly pinched his wrists, "you came back."

After insisting I wasn't 'Susan', he got frustrated and shot me. Just like that. And I lay there in the hot concrete, the sun beaming at me like it was a normal day, like I totally did not get murdered in broad daylight. If I wasn't coughing up blood, I'd say today was the perfect day to swim.

And then I drifted into an eerily silence. Not a sound. I was frozen, paralyzed. I could not feel or see. I don't think that I could feel warmth.

Abruptly, something crashed and broke the silence. Voices. Frantic voices yelling in my ears, making me want to curl. I felt everything.

I felt the pain of being shot. Contrary to popular belief, when you're dying, it doesn't hurt. I suppose this is the after effects. I felt the bullet sinking into my flesh, I heard the footsteps walking away from my corpse, I felt emptiness and eternal pain. I couldn't open my eyes. They felt like lead and my arms felt boneless, like needles pricking them consistently.

I did the only thing I could, and wanted, to do: cry.

I opened my mouth and cried at the top of my lungs, trying to express the pain I was feeling; I was crying because I was dead, damn it, and the pain was unbearable. The realization that, _holyfuckingshit, I'm dead, I'm gone from the Earth, I can't kiss any boys or touch anyone or hug anyone or even fucking blink because I'm a spirit who can either go to hell, heaven, or just fade away._

Unexpectedly, I felt something warm encase me. The pain died down, and I lowered my cries. The pain wasn't there. Was I going to Heaven?

I felt a weight lift off me.

After a few hours, I realized what I was. I realized that I was not only alive, I was a baby. And I felt strangely content.

I didn't question the possibility of reincarnation, because I believed in it in my past life. A lazy Christian and feminist, I was curious about other beliefs. Reincarnation made sense, especially with the internet theories surrounding it.

I was happy I was a baby because that meant I no longer had the pressure of studying, scrambling to apply to decent colleges, and worry about crack heads and heroin addicts. I was free from the burden, and the only thing I hoped was that I'd be reborn into a privileged rich girl in California with two parents and maybe a sibling. God damn I was lonely.

However, I soon realized I was not in America. When I heard someone angrily retort, "baka!" in the hospital, I froze. I was in Japanese. As an avid Naruto fan, it was impossible to not know what that word meant, what with Haruno Sakura spewing that out every five minutes.

I curiously stared at my Mom, but my eyesight was blurry. I felt sleepy, but I wanted to know what she looked like, what I looked like and where I was.

Before I drifted off to sleep, I heard a melodic, heavily accented voice: "Mame Shizuka."

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><p>I quickly gathered that I must've been in the outer area of Japan. The dialect was different and the accents weren't Japanese. It was indescribable, but the best I could throw together was a mixture between Boston and Chinese. Strewn together to form an entirely new accent. They added a "yo" (at least my mom) at the end of almost every sentence.<p>

I had little to no contact with other people. My mom took me outside occasionally, and in the area, there were constant leaves flying around, making its way to my mouth, hands, and eyes. There was an abundant amount of trees where I lived.

My life was similar to my old one; my mother was the only constant in my life. My dad was gone. Either dead or just did not care about me; either way, I had a missing dad. The difference was my mom actually _tried_. We weren't poor, but weren't rich. By the time I was growing teeth and talking, my mom prepared me delicious, mashed food daily.

My mother was beautiful. Her sunny blonde hair fell to her breasts and her emerald eyes contrasted beautifully against her pale face. I had not seen my own appearance, but I knew I had brown skin judging by my hands. My skin was a crisp brown, a bit lighter than my old skin color. My mother was presumbably, judging by her language, Japanese, which is odd due to the fact my mother had pale skin. She did not look Asian, but she spoke the language fluently. Perhaps she's a former American? Her race was indescribable. Her eyes were not big, but they had an exotic light tint of green that I knew most Asians did not have.

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><p>After an alarmingly long time, (between me crawling and teething) my mom visited me after I woke up from my nap. She seemed excited, her bright green eyes lighting up as she beamed at me.<p>

"Shizuka-chan," My mother slipped her finger into my chubby fists. Her free hand was clutching a blue ribbon. "Look what I found? It's my old hitai-ate!"

_Hitai-ate..._

That sounded suspiciously familiar. I chose to ignore the gnawing feeling crawling in the back of my mind. I knew to be wary.

"See? This is the Konohagakure symbol!" She pointed a finger to a symbol engraved in the center of the metal. My mouth went dry and my tongue felt heavy.

Without thinking, I reached out and touched the symbol. I wanted to puke. I could almost smell the blood that dried on the hitai-ate. Before I could faint in nausea, my mother spoke:

"Shizuka-chan. I was a kunoichi of this village. Now, you will be a kunoichi of the village. _Wakatta_?"

Mesmerized, sick, and hypnotized, I nodded my head faintly. I felt vomit coming at the back of my throat. I wasn't in Japan. I wasn't even in my old world.

_I was in the fucking Naruto world._

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><p>After promptly napping, I felt refreshed. As a baby, I had a ridiculous amount of free time. Plans were running through my mind of what to do and how to avoid dying. The first thought was to become a civilian. Sell coffee, tea, or dango. I could move to the Land of the Waves, depending on the era I was in, and write books. I could write Harry Potter and not face plagiarism.<p>

I could even just move to a civilian village and avoid all the events; and judging from all the leaves when I peer out the window, and my mother's previous talk about being a kunoichi, I was in Konohagakure, the place where all the shit happens.

I couldn't have been born in Kumogakure or Sunagakure? Hell, even a civilian village?

My past life and current life were similar. _No,_ in my past life we didn't have superhuman ninja's who killed for shits and giggles, but I did retain my brown skin and single mother life style. Although I preferred my current Mom's tiny home than the busted up apartment complex.

Plans were made. Depending on my age, I'd have to ignore Rookie Nine. Hell, _Konoha 12_. I would not befriend Uzumaki Naruto. I knew his loneliness made him stronger and he'd have people to surround him. Consequently, I'd avoid Sasuke, too. I knew he went on a rampage to sever his bonds later, which meant killing them, and I would not die twice. Especially by Chidori.

I could move to Kumogakure when I'm older, avoid being a Genin, avoid everyone, because I knew that if I even glanced at one of the significant characters of Naruto, something'll happen.

After the introduction of the hitai-ate, my mother enjoyed teaching me about Konoha. She talked to me about the Hokages, founding of the village, and the Konoha nin prowess. Of course, during this, I was well into speaking, (broken words and constant 'mama!'s) and it helped that I had the mind of a sixteen year old girl, so I learned fast.

I pointed to my arm. I then pointed to hers, gesturing to the contrast of our skin.

My mom's smile fell a tiny bit, but I caught it. Ah. So, my other parent was a jerk who she wanted to desperately remove from her memory.

"Shizuka-chan," she started, lifting me and propping me on her knee, "your _otousan_ was a great ninja. He's from another village, however, so we never see him. He's very busy so he never visits." She explained briefly, poking my nose.

I knew that faux sweetness in her tone; I was told that when my teachers decided I wasn't adequate enough to be in a certain program. I was told that when someone underestimated me because of my race. They were lying to me.

My dad was something I'd uncover, if it was the last thing I did. I lost my father in my first life. I wouldn't lose him in this one, too.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Sorry this ended horribly and abruptly. I wanted to say something before I get any questions or concerns; I will _not _make Shizuka a 'mary sue.' Without spoiling too much, I'll reveal this: Shizuka will be shit at ninjutsu (she can perform it, but she's not as good as most nin) and prominent in taijutsu. She's not fast or slow, she sucks at genjutsu and because of her reincarnation from another world, she has more trouble releasing herself from genjutsu and from discerning things from real or fake. That's all I'll reveal in this note, the rest will be developed later on in the story. This is a semi-self insert. I don't even think this is a self insert. The only thing this OC has from me is her intelligence and love in books and anime. That's literally it. We also share the same initials (C.E.) which wasn't intentional, but I liked it that way.

Shizuka's lineage will be revealed extremely soon, if not next chapter.

I think that's all I covered that will not spoil too much but won't leave you hanging. I wanted to quickly clarify this before I'd have to answer it in the next chapter. Thanks for reading! Please review.


	2. Green

**;briefly/lightly edited; **

**静かな (Quiet)**

_Chapter Two: Green_

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><p>The days passed by. Before I knew it, I was a year old with a dozen of plans running through my mind on what to do. If I was born in the Next Generation, hopefully peace was achieved and Shinobis were only used to collect stray cats, deliver scrolls, and be used as bodyguards.<p>

I haven't achieved the mystery of my father. I still haven't heard from him, nor seen him. I didn't even know his name and I was getting nowhere of squeezing his identity out from my mother.

My mother, I found out, was an "okay" Chuunin, who had been on four A-rank missions. She seemed intent on having me become a kick ass kunoichi, which I had no plans of being. My plan was to write a rip off of Harry Potter, accumulate enough money, and settle down. I didn't even care of having a husband. This world was still so foreign to me, despite living it it for a year.

I learned quickly. After being around the language, I learned to understand, and to a lesser extent, speak, the language of _Hi no Kuni_, and in extension the dialect of Konoha. I quickly deduced that the language here is similar to Japanese, but different all the same.

There were still things that I haven't seen, or know. For instance, what I look like. Although my current self is lighter than my old self, I was still tanner than my mother, and presumably citizens of Konoha entirely. I was probably two shades darker than Naruto and two shades lighter than the average Kumogakure nin.

After being cooped inside for months, I decided to go outside again.

"Mama!" I waddled over to my mother, grabbed her finger with my chubby hands, and pulled. "Outside! Now!"

Instead of scolding me for my demanding attitude, my mother smiled slightly. Folding her book so she did not lose her page, she grabbed me from my under arms and picked me up.

"You're so heavy," she teased, bouncing me on her hip as she walked outside. I felt a sudden warmth tickle my skin as the sun beamed on me. It was Spring, but in Konoha it felt like summer.

I stared, mesmerized, at the view of Konoha. Even though it was hypnotizing to be in your favorite manga, I had a mini mission to do: find the Hokage Monument. That'll explain what era I was in.

Before I could ask her about the Hokages, my Mom opened her mouth.

"_Sugoi_...! Lady Hyuuga is pregnant with her first daughter," My mother announced.

My throat went dry. My finger trembled and I slowly pulled it down.

_Nani_?

Is it Hinata? Meaning she wasn't born yet?

_**Shit**_. My stomach churned uncomfortably. I was a year older than Hinata; meaning I was in that era, which wouldn't be bad, if I wasn't born in fucking Konoha, where shit happens every other day. If I was born in Kumo or at least Iwa, I'd be content.

You can't have everything, right?

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><p>After my mom put me to bed, I stared at the ceiling.<p>

_I have about thirteen years before Suna's coup and alliance with Orochimaru and Otogakure; also thirteen years before Akatsuki makes their move on Naruto. I had fifteen years until Pein's invasion and utter destruction of the Leaf Village, and if that doesn't kill me, I'll surely die during the Fourth Shinobi World War, doing something stupid like protecting my favorite character._

I sucked on my hand which seemed to always calm me down. I couldn't flee, not at this age. The only necessary thing for me to do was to get stronger, but I was horribly average. Mostly everyone strong in Naruto had something. Bijuus, kekkei genkai, certain lineages (I'm looking at you, Tsunade). The only person who was born to civilians was Sakura, but even she wasn't as strong as, say, Sasuke or Naruto.

In fact, many of the girls, or at least relevant, weren't strong as the boys. Tenten to Neji. Sakura to Naruto. Ino to Shikamaru. It was ridiculous, offending, and sexist how the author made the girls focus about love, rather than their clan, skills, and strength. Why was Hinata concerned for Naruto more than herself? Why was Ino fighting Sakura over a jerk who couldn't give two shits about her?

My chubby fists were clenched and my jaw tightened. Something in me ignited. A newfound resolve. I was going to try my hardest, put in everything to become strong; a strong kunoichi who didn't give a shit about love. A kunoichi who was malicious and was as bloodthirsty as any boy! Okay, the last part was a bit far fetched. I wasn't going to rip out someone's throat with my teeth, but I'll be pretty damn good at fighting.

With my new resolve, I went to sleep peacefully, sucking on my fists hungrily.

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><p>The first time I saw my appearance I cried. My hair was too short for me to pull a strand and look, or glance in my peripheral vision.<p>

My mom had decided to take me shoe shopping. I was pretty excited, because in the manga, the ninja shoes looked pretty bad ass. I already decided what to get: the standard blue. It'd look cool with my feet and my chubby thighs and calves, and I'd be happy. _Oops_.

My mother carried me throughout Konoha to find the store. I was delighted to physically see the people of Konoha. Civilians selling calamari, soba, and takioyami; the scent of pie and cinnamon buns filling the air, leaves swirling around the atmosphere. I was in heaven.

Then my mom entered the store, yelled out a polite, "_ohayo_!" and chatted with the owner of the store. She must be a regular, because everyone knew her.

"Is this Shizuka-chan?" A middle aged man said, kneeling down to meet my height. He tickled my chin affectionately. Unfortunately for him, I was a monotone person with strangers (because who could get used to them?) and I responded slightly by a jerk of my shoulders.

"Konichiwa," I greeted politely.

"She's in need of shoes," my mother informed them. They nodded and quickly scurried off to find the appropriate shoes. My mom straddled me on her lap, bouncing her knee. The owner came out after a few minutes. My face lit up, but my mood darkened when I saw the color of the shoes. _Pink_.

I wrinkled my nose as they made their way over to me, slipping the damned shoe in. They were comfortable, I admit. But they were ugly. Of course I didn't expect the Naruto world to have Jimmy Choos or Converse, but _pink_ ninja shoes?

I grimaced as my mother guided me to a nearby mirror. My mind was focused on how the hell I was going to run around the village wearing these that I did not notice my appearance, and after trailing my eyes from down to my knees, I took my appearance in and wailed.

_White. My tiny wisps of hair was fucking white. _It was extremely short and a frighteningly pale, white. I was almost afraid to touch it, but I reached up and grabbed a tiny fistful of it. Contrary to my belief, it wasn't ice cold like snow. But it was... _fucking white. _

Has anyone in the Narutoverse had white hair, besides Jiraiya, Kimimaro, Kakashi, Kabu-well, okay, a little bit of characters. But, still, why couldn't it have been blue, or even orange? And my teeth were chipped and were already forming an abnormal shape. They were crooked. At least I'd lose them. But my eyes, too? I had shitty eyesight (I was still young and adjusting to this world), but I could already tell, with tears in my eyes, that my eyes weren't a pretty ocean blue or emerald green like my Mom's.

My mom tried to hush my wails, but I wouldn't quit. She bought two pairs of shoes and hastily left the shop, cooing to make me hush. My fingers were stuffed in my short hair. I snuck a glance at her. Her hair was a summery blonde. Clearly her genes were not at fault.

When I meet my dad, I'm going to kick him so hard, he flies to Iwagakure.

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><p><strong><span>Author's Note:<span>** Sorry if I made Shizuka's decision too fast. I know it'd take me more than three years to become a shinobi, but Shizuka's quite determined to be a feminist. I wanted to also address that Shizuka's sole goals will be to find her dad and become a bad ass kunoichi; mostly the former. It's sort of how Sasuke's goal was to kill Itachi, except hers is less vulgar and less serious. Her father is not a canon character. He's not like Minato, Madara, or any strong, over powered character. You'll see what he's like soon enough.

****updated A/N: I changed Shizuka's appearance. Initially, I planned for her to have green hair, dark skin, and golden eyes-average Kumo nin. But instead, she now has white hair and brown skin. She still has skin darker than the avg. Konoha citizen, but her appearance still changed. **


	3. Kunoichi Problems

**(Quick Disclaimer:) **To the Guest who, quote on quote, complained that "the first chapter was too long": You know that the first chapter's supposed to be long? To introduce the character, problem, setting, etc.? It's not gonna be as long as a drabble, right? Also, you also asked how Shizuka will be a 'kick ass kunoichi with no ninja skills'. She can do ninjutsu, but she's not good at it. She's not Rock Lee. She can form chakra, and perform a ninjutsu, but she doesn't bother with it. Also, friendly reminder that _taijutsu exists and Rock Lee and Gai kick ass with it. _Thanks for your snide comments. I wanted to address that.

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><p><em><strong>静かな <strong>__**(Quiet)**_

_**Chapter Three: Kunoichi Problems**_

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><p>The days were a blur. As I grew older, I grew quieter; with my mom, I was obnoxiously loud. As soon as I stepped outside, my mouth was glued shut. I seldom talked, and when I did, it was softly. It seemed I retained a bit of my old personality.<p>

However, after a few years, my mom gently woke me up. I groggily and reluctantly opened my eyes, the sleep still roaming my body, but I woke up quickly as I focused on her tear streaked face. Her green eyes were red rimmed and her cheeks were scrubbed raw.

"Mama?" I murmured, struggling to sit up.

"Ah, Shizuka-chan," she mumbled, picking me up swiftly. "Something terrible has happened."

My stomach knotted. Thoughts whirled through my head like a tornado. _I was around three or four; nothing significant happened. I know the Kyuubi was released on October, Naruto's birthday, so it passed already; is my existence itself changing canon? Tearing the universe apart? Ripping the dimension-?_

"Hyuuga Hizashi is dead." My mom sniffled, stifling a sob, and rubbed my back. My eyebrows knitted together. Hizashi? If my memory serves right, he's Neji's father who caused him to hate the Main family. He later is revealed that he chose to die.

I relaxed. Although this caused Neji to live in hatred and to treat Hinata like shit, it wasn't too significant, like the Uchiha Massacre.

I nodded as she cried. I didn't know any way she was related to the _Hyuugas_, pompous assholes who were cocky just because they could see far away and chakra systems.

"Mama cry," I murmured, tracing her red cheeks with my chubby finger. Seeing her cry clenched my heart. I wanted to comfort her the best way I could.

"Shizuka-chan," she started, staring solemnly at her shoes, "this started because a man kidnapped Lady Hinata, Hiashi's daughter. Do you know who that man was?" I swiftly shook my head, staring at her, my interests and curiosity peaking.

"He was a Kumogakure nin. Y-your father was a Kumo nin."

My heart stopped and my pulse was racing as I stared at her in shock. That described my skin that many a Konoha inhabitants did not have. It explained why he was never in my three years of my life. He was a Cloud ninja.

My fingers trembled. _Was my father killed by Hiashi? Was he the cause of Hizashi's death and Neji's hatred? _

My father must've been rich, because the man who kidnapped Hinata was an ambassador of Kumo. Still, this made me uneasy. I possibly had a dead father. I suddenly felt like weeping. After a pause, I wept with my mother silently.

**/ / / **

After an indescribable time, my mother decided to teach me on chakra. I was excited to do so. Even in my old life, I pondered on what it would be like if chakra was real. The hand seals excited me and the speed made me smile.

"Shizuka-chan! Listen!" My mother scolded me, pinching my cheek, exasperated.

"Gomen, mama." I apologized sincerely.

"Like I was explaining, you have chakra in your body; everyone does. With chakra, Shinobi use it to perform ninjutsus to either defend yourself or offend enemies. Some defensive jutsus are _kawarimi __**(1)**__._ You will be learning this in the academy in a few years, wakatta?"

I nodded quickly, taking everything in. Chakra, two types of ninjutsus. Got it.

"Hand seals are a key to demonstrate and perform hand seals. This is fundamental. Hand seals are essential; chakra is manipulated through hand seals. You will need to perfect your chakra control. With your chakra control, you can walk on walls, trees, and water."

"Sugoi!" I blurted out excitedly, awed by the explanation, even with my limited knowledge on the facts.

"Hai. It's very enticing. However, most people don't have large chakra reserves, so they tend to drain it if they use jutsus quickly, especially large jutsus that tend to need an abundant amount of chakra. In the Academy, you will learn how to determine the amount of chakra a Jutsu will need and how to calculate it."

I sagged. Did she mean math? I _hated_ math in my old life, and to continue it again? Bleh.

My mother quickly explained to me the three basic types of jutsus, hand seals, and chakra in the span of two weeks. I noticed it was getting cooler in Konoha when I stepped outside, so I presumed it was winter. I knew my death day and birthday was connected. I died and was reborn on December third. I would be turning four years old, also the age kids attended the Academy.

The Academy started in Spring. I would enviously watch neighboring kids jog off to the Academy, with their bows and butterfly clips, clutching their bento boxes excitedly. I _wanted that. _I craved to learn more about my new world, to learn how to perform a million ninjutsus and confusing genjutsus. I wanted to _learn_.

After teaching me, my life got much more boring. My mom decided to leave the more complex information to my teachers, which I was slightly annoyed by. I doubted they'd teach me more than a watered down version of the shinobi life. I also was not excited for the forced socializing, seeing as how I sucked at socializing in both lives.

**/ **

My life became slowly dull after my mother stopped teaching me. My mom lounged around, as if she were anxious daily. I'd watch her, from the corner of my eye, as she chewed on her bottom lip, running her fingers through her blonde hair. I'd pout and try to capture her attention, but she was too unfocused on me and worrying about something else.

I gave up all hopes on trying to busy myself, and instead went over my plans multiple times:

_**Avoid the main characters.**_

_**Become a decent kunoichi who can pass as Chuunin.**_

_**Move to Land of Waters/non-shinobi village.**_

My back up plan?

**Avoid relevant characters.**

**Fail my genin exam, become a civilian.**

**Move to Land of Waters/non-shinobi village.**

My thoughts on becoming a "bad ass" kunoichi dissolved after I spent more time in the village. The civilians looked so happy and peaceful (despite a Tailed Beast invading the village and killing many a few years ago). When I saw shinobi walking around, (which was rare-the village was still recovering from damage, and needed as much shinobi as possible to complete missions and make some income) they looked tired, exhausted, and haunted. Most of them had some visual scar, and if they didn't, they had a scar on a covered area. They looked angry and were quiet. Little to none of them were chatting amiably amongst themselves and enjoying dango and sōba. They were _tired, _from being overworked on missions.

Judging from the future disasters coming up, I bet things would be worst. Should I become a kunoichi, I would be even more overworked than them, and perhaps die before that. Who knows if I'd die in a C-class mission go wrong? Not everyone could have a bad ass Jōnin sensei like Team 7; nor can everyone have a dōjutsu user and a jinchuuriki in their team. I'd have to work _really, really, really _hard, and I was too lazy to even try that. I'd be fitted better to sew clothes, sell teas, or assortments.

I'd break it to my mother to sign me up for civilian school. I wasn't cut out to be a ninja, I was too afraid, etc. I wiggled my fingers, stuffed my chubby hand in my mouth, and promptly drifted to sleep, happy with my new resolve and plan.

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><p>Remember my plan? Yeah, my mother practically shitted on it.<p>

It wasn't her fault. Thirty percent of it was my fault. Seventy percent of it was her _very _ugly and mean mother, or my grandmother. My grandmother insisted I called her _obaa-sama_, and would pinch my ear if I called her _obaa-chan _or _obaasan. _She was wilting. Her hair was as pale as the snow, with tints of yellow; her eyes were a milky, dull green and a large wart rested comfortably on her soft, wrinkled pale cheeks.

She looked at me with disdain at first, but after my frequent visits to her, she decided to warm up to me and called me Shi-Shi.

I decided that the day we visited her in her old house was the day I confess to my mother about not wanting to become a kunoichi. My grandfather was sprawled out on the sofa, sleeping, his glasses sliding off his sloped nose. I was on my mother's thigh as my mother talked with my grandmother.

"_Mama_," I began, interrupting her.

"Hai, Shi-chan?" My mother asked, stopping her conversation with her mother and looking at me.

I blinked heavily.

"Ano… I no become a kunoichi."

Silence.

"_**Nani? Who do you think you are?" **_My grandmother's wobbly voice screeched. I winced as her green eyes bulged out. She gripped the armchair. "_**Your mother was a kunoichi. You should be honored, and should follow in her footsteps!" **_

"_Haha_ is right, Shi-chan," My mother reprimanded gently. "I was a kunoichi before-" She paused, searching for the words. "Retired. You should be one, too. Don't you wanna be like mama?"

I glowered at my mother in disbelief. I thought she'd side with me!

"I die!" I argued back, flailing my hands wildly. "I die if I become kunoichi! I no become kunoichi!"

"_**Hell if you don't!" **_My grandmother growled, her voice loud and scratching against my ear drums. She stood up slowly, her fingers trembling. "You _**will **_become a kunoichi. Wakatta?"

"No." I replied, crossing my arms.

"Your dad was a good shinobi, Shi-chan," My mother tried to coax me. I softened at the mention of my dad. He was still mysterious to me, so any mention of him calmed me down.

My grandmother's seething lowered at the sound of my dad. I could tell she didn't like him. (Of course, if my daughter was knocked up by a random, foreign shinobi then abandoned, I'd hate him, too.)

"I die," I repeated, less firmly.

"Did I die?" My mother countered. I balled my fists, clenched my jaw, and shook my head.

"See? If you get a good trainer, you'll be stronger than me. Wakatta?"

I turned my head away from her, trying to cool down my red-hot anger. _There goes my plans of ever getting a normal life. _

"_Wakatta,_" I spat out.

* * *

><p>My mother felt my anger and attempted to sugar me up by taking me to <em><strong>Dangoya,<strong>_ my favorite shop. I bitterly ate _mitarashi _dango, unable to swallow and savour the sweet, delicious taste. I was tempted to bite out a, "I hate you!" to my mother, but I knew I wasn't at the age to understand hate. Instead, I glowered sourly at the young kids running off to chase a ball. I decided to refocus my anger and glare at my dango, still steaming hot, syrup poured over it.

I was so focused on glowering at my food, I didn't hear or see a man saunter in.

"Ah! Gai-san, it's been a while!"

My head shot up, and I saw a bright figure in green; green jumpsuit, green flak jacket, and a green aura. My heart thudded in my chest and I felt my pulse quicken.

_Is this Gai? _

Was I seeing a real life fucking character, who was extremely relevant to the plot, in person? My fingers trembled and I felt like passing out. _Deep breaths. Deep breaths, deep fucking breaths. _

Gai looked nervous as he met my mother's eyes. Scratching his head nervously, he waved. He was awfully out of character. He wasn't rambunctious, nor loud. In fact, he seemed to want to zip out of Dangoya at once.

"Ah, Nagisa-chan! I haven't seen you in a while."

My mother pursed her lips. I narrowed my eyes. Did my mother and fucking _Gai _had some unspoken history with each other? _Romantic history? _

"Is this your daughter?" Gai seemed anxious to throw the attention on to me. I scowled slightly. I picked up my food and chomped on it, trying not to meet Gai's eyes. But the man was so damn bright.

Clearing his throat, Gai smiled at me.

"What's her name?"

"Shizuka," My mother cut out, her voice coated with bitterness and venom. She waggled her fingers. "Ah! I must go. My daughter has an appointment with the doctor. Chakra virus, I think. I must go. Nice reunion, Gai-san." My mother quickly threw ryo on the wooden tables, grabbed her tea, and yanked me out the store.

"Eh? I no finish!" I complained, annoyed.

"_Gomen, _Shizuka-chan."

I breathed.

"You don't like man?" I asked curiously. She scooped me up gently.

"No. He's so _loud, rude, and oblivious _to everything. When I was younger, he-" She shook her head, stopping mid-sentence. "Avoid him, wakatta? He's a no-no."

I nodded, my anger completely dispersing, taking in this information. My mother, my sweet, but loner mother, interacted with a largely relevant, _kick-ass and strong _shinobi, and hates him?

Good to know.

* * *

><p>I woke up with a start to my mother shaking me, her voice in my hair.<p>

Now, when I needed a good sleep and I was tired as fuck, her usual sweet voice was sickly and annoyed. I wanted to rip her vocal cords out when I was in the limbo of sleep and awake.

"_Shi-chan," _My mother cooed. "_Shi-chan, wake up. You start Academy today, remember?" _

I awoke with a start, bursting up from my sleeping position.

"N-Nani?" I cried out, throwing my blanket off me and slipping out my futon frantically. "Mama! I-I need to get ready! Help!"

She stifled a laugh as she helped me up. Guiding me to the bath, she ran my bath.

"I'm going to make your lunch. I'll be back soon."

I nodded furiously as I scrubbed at my skin. I was going to be late on my first day of Academy, thanks to my drunken night last night.

... _Okay, _so I had sparkling water, which I gleefully pretended was vodka, but who cares? I still 'passed out', and I'm pretty sure I got a mini hang-over when I woke up.

My mother soon came back, drained my water, and got me ready. My legs were shaking. Who wouldn't be scared? In a few hours, or minutes, I'd be exposed to how to kill a man, how to use my body as a defense, and how to survive in a bloodlust world. It was hard to take in.

I already deduced that I'd be in Neji's year, and most likely his class. There was a difference between Academy and _Academy. _The latter was the standard, the one we all saw in the anime; next to the Hokage monument, with Iruka-sensei teaching kids, etc. The former was a civilian school for civilians who didn't give a fuck about shinobi issues and just wanted a normal life. They knew little information about ninjutsus and chakra, which is why civilians were unable to hold a kunai properly and mould chakra because they literally had no clue on what to do. I was planning to go to that school, but…

My mother debated on whether giving me a yukata (despite it being spring **(1) **) or a playful attire. Deciding the former for the first day, she slipped me into a casual yukata and tied my brown hair up. For extra measure, she secured my bangs with a _kanzashi _(**2). **Finished, she examined me and beamed.

"I just want to cuddle you up! You're absolutely gorgeous!"

"Arigatou!" I said, exasperated as she squeezed the life out of me.

"OK, I'll walk you to the Academy. Try not to dirty the yukata, O.K.?"

"Hai!" I said.

Together, we walked to the Academy. The house was not too far. It was close to the dango shop, which was five minutes away from the Academy, so it didn't take us much time to walk there. We filled the walking time with chatters about the Academy. I quickly learned that taijutsu and ninjutsu was mostly taught, while genjutsu was explore but not as 'significant' in the Academy; four times out of five, they held sparring matches, usually in the afternoon, while ninjutsu, chakra, and math was explored in the mornings. On some days, they discussed clans, history of Konoha, etc.

So absorbed with talking, we didn't realize we were in front of the Academy until the bell ring. I swallowed hard, squeezed my mother's hand, and walked with her into the Academy, my heart beating in my chest, excitement and anxiety circulating my veins.

**Here we go. **

* * *

><p><strong>(1) <strong>_- _Academy starts in the spring in this fanfic.

**(2) **_- _Flower accessories in hair, used in Japanese culture.

**A/N: **Guess who feels like shit that she didn't update in a month? Me! Anyways, while I regularly updated _Tsuyoi, _I neglected this story. I changed up Shizuka a bit, mainly her appearance. If you don't want to look back in the previous chapters, I'll tell you now: she's not resembling a Kumo nin, (I'm a shit author and decided it'd be too 'troublesome' to explain Neji's future hatred for her, because I didn't want him to judge a book by its cover) but she is still darker than most Konoha nin. She'd be brown for a Konoha citizen, mid-range for a Kumo nin, and brown for a Suna. Her hair is also not green, but it's white. At first, I wanted to change from green to a black/brown, to emphasize she's average, but decided against it. Her hair will be white. However, she'll still be average according to Konoha, and the Narutoverse's standards, since there are numerous characters with white hair. Jiraiya, Kimimaro, Tobirama, etc.


	4. Um so :

Hey guys! I know you were expecting a story update, and I apologize. I know how it feels. :(

However, I need to tell you guys this: I'm discontinuing this story. This story, as of Jan. 21st, 2015, will be on a hiatus. I cannot promise you that I'll continue this story at a later date, because to be frank, I don't know. The plot of my OC, Shizuka, changed, I despised my writing style and my character's appearance was inconsistent, clashing w/ her father's heritage.

_** HOWEVER. **_

I do have a new rewrite up. It currently has six chapters and has a total of 15k words. But, don't fret! I won't discontinue my new story, (which is a rewrite of this story) because I have a plan. While I have six chapters currently published, I have three chapters sitting in my doc manager waiting to be published. (for the next chapters) This means I don't have to scramble up to write when the next week rolls around, and if I ever have writer's block, I can publish my chapters sitting in my doc manager and you all won't be sitting around, waiting for an update. Basically, whenever the inspiration hits me, which is weekly or thrice a week, I write a chapter or two, drop it in my doc manager, and wait till the next week rolls around so I could publish it. You guys won't be waiting all week or two weeks or even a month, waiting for my Writer's Block to pass.

I usually write over 1k words per chapter, so you won't have to worry about short chapters and sporadic updates. Anyways, here's the link to my new rewrite!

s/10904231/1/%E8%8B%BA-Strawberry

** Summary: **After fatally getting hit by a car, Elizabeth is thrust into the Narutoverse and is dubbed Ocha Ichigo, living with her civilian who owns a tea house. Trying to shoulder the burden of protecting her civilian family, all while searching for her anonymous father, Ichigo decides that dealing with midterms in college is easier than her new life. (rewrite; long chapters. slightly dark)

**Rated**: Fiction T - **English** - Adventure/Drama - **_Lee R., Team Gai, OC_** - **Chapters**: 6 - **Words**: 15,203 - **Reviews**: 12 - **Favs**: 22 - **Follows**: 40 - **Updated**: Jan 16 - **Published**: Dec 20, 2014 -

^^^ all the needed info is up there. Anyways, I hope you guys don't hate me for this. :p I don't make promises, but I MIGHT continue Quiet. But there's very little hope.

I hope, if you do read my rewrite, enjoy the new story! thanks for sticking w/ me! xx


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